Pooper scooper… the real scoop on poop !

So what’s the scoop? This article is not for the squeamish as it’s really about being a expert Pooper Scooper as a second career in life when you own one or more dogs. Little did I realize back in the fall of October 2006 that I would once again be getting much more poop to deal with, but this time it wasn’t coming from my kids, family, friends or work. NOPE, my own dogs would give more poop than carter had pills.

Now those who own dogs realize how easily when amongst others the conversation can turn to poop without a moment’s notice. We discuss the perfect poop almost wanting to frame a picture of it—jokingly with a hint of seriousness that does confuse non-dog possessing people.

So what does it take to be the Grand Poohbah of pooping scooping? Not much besides a sense of humor, strong stomach, gloved hands, STRONG plastic bags doubled up, old shoes or boots, and beyond that a sense of responsibility to keeping your yard from looking like a land mine practice field.

Now from the past 2.5 years of experience I have had my fair share of poop, feeling quite confident that I am no longer an apprentice pooper scooper. In fact I will proudly state that I am officially almost an expert as of present day and will proceed to share my expertise in what poop should look like, when the best time of year, day and season is to being a great speedy and efficient pooper scooper. Note: after reading this article you may end up wanting to be the official POOPER SCOOPER of your canine household along with having a “Grand Ole Time” perfecting your skills while laughing out loud outside. Your neighbors will perhaps think you’ve lost it but we know the truth, so don’t worry about a thing.

When is the best time of year? Why it’s late winter of course. Sorry for you that live in warmer climates where there is no snowfall however the types of poops, how to get it up without getting it on you just may be amusing and of use to you as well. So while I try not to exclude anyone, take what you want and discard the rest. Please don’t give me any poop as I do get enough on a daily basis. Now back to the best time of year.

Late winter is great as you have temporary thaws and/or days where the sun will shine and slightly defrost the “poopsicles” that decorate your yard. NOW for some of us, pooper scooping is done 1 to 2 times a month during winter as snow cover and ice can make it difficult to perform and perfect your job of being a dutiful pooper scooper which brings me to the best time of day: late morning on a sunny day if possible. Oh wait, Sunday mornings are also optimal as you will most likely be in a relaxed happy mood further aiding your motivation.

Remember though that if it’s sunny and around 10:30am to 11:00 am the poop on the north side will be more frozen than the east and south side. The west side poopsicles may be the same consistency of the north side. I know you all appreciate this helpful hint. NOW preparing for your job:

1. Mind prep: you are getting fresh air, vitamin D from the sun, EXERCISE and I guarantee if you follow my advice you will end up having a good laugh even if you have a bad back.
2. What to wear: steel tipped or hard toed shoes or boots, old leather gloves with cashmere or thinsulate lining. For those that can handle cold temps go right ahead and wear those rubber gloves. Next, ski pants or thermal underwear as you will be out there for at least on hour or more. Please wear a hat as you do lost most of your warmth via your head and forget the cup of coffee, have that BEFORE you go out so you’re wide awake and don’t stumble into a pile of softened poop on the south side. I will assume you will put on an old warm winter coat and leave your camera INSIDE the house. Why? Because we need a good imagination for this type of work and your hands to be free to perform a wonderful gratifying and fun job in life when you have dogs.
3. Last but not least: Do this alone as others will only distract you thereby making you miss a poopsicle or two and/or disrupting a peaceful time spent alone enjoying the serenity of the day and further aiding your concentration to the task at hand.
4. All those little plastic bags you bring your groceries home in ? These are great to use and you can double bag them before going out and then put them into one large kitchen garbage bag. Once outside tie the large bag holding he smaller double bagged plastic bags to a railing, or onto something they won’t blow off of and cause you to run down the street across neighbors’ yards looking like a complete fool giving them something to further aid their notion that you’re a nut.
5. Shame shame on you IF you’re one of those that have a pooper scooper service you PAY to do this job.

Okay by now you should have the right frame of mind and be quite prepared. Let’s proceed outside where the real fun begins!!!

Which sides (aka sunny exposure) of the yard does one begin a pooper scooper task? The EAST of course but you must remember that you have to work fast and also decide which poopicles aren’t worth the effort and move forward. While I could be charging for this information I wont’ and this is all for FREE. NOTE: those with a bad back you can always use tiger balm once back inside or whatever you do to alleviate back aches but drinking before noon is a no-no thus not listed as an aid.

The north side does blend somewhat into the east side and this is where you will begin. Notice how quiet it is outside with the sun shining brightly allowing you to see partially uncovered poopsicles. A sense of humor will slowly occur while you see all diverse kinds of poopsicles and the hunt for the perfect poop will enter your thoughts. Wow, so much poop! Go ahead let out a big sigh and look around to make sure neighbors aren’t watching you as this should be a private relaxing time.

As you start to pick up poopsicles you will now realize some are stuck solidly to the ground with a small piece breaking off. Do not be alarmed this is totally normal and means you have to move a tad more over the EAST side of your yard. Initially you will be able to easily pick up the slightly thawed poopsicles with much ease barely leaving a trace behind with it landing into the bag on your arm quite nicely. You will also feel quite proud of yourself but don’t get over confident quite yet as you will be challenged soon. Remember I am here to help.

All of a sudden there is some poop you see that you missed on the EAST side but it seems to be stubborn. You will turn and try twisting it and still this poopsicle persists in staying on the ground. Next you find a stick and poke it realizing complete failure to obtain another poopsicle. Finally you will try to kick it and OUCH that hurt! Oh wouldn’t that be a great one to explain to the ER doctor on how you broke your toe! This is why I stated earlier to wear steel tipped or hard toed footwear. Eventually, the coffee you had earlier and the pain you just felt will enable your brain cells to think properly: move on the next poopsicle as this one isn’t worth the trouble. Keep in mind you must work quickly as it’s cold outside and if you don’t the south side poopsicles will be mushy and full of scientific wonders (to be explained shortly).

You are now on your way to becoming an intermediate pooper scooper. Believe me these are tried and truthful methods I have perfected over the past 2.5 years and kept a secret till now. So while I am baring my soulful pooper scooper ways to be kind, helpful and save you much misery and/or some poop getting on your hands, bear in mind that this is factual with a sense of humor.  Life and dogs present much poop on a daily basis thus laughing is a great stress reducer.

Back to poopsicles. Notice the missing pair of socks? NO? Oh you will once you get to the south side of yard where the real fun begins especially if it is approaching 11:20am or later. That beautiful sunshine has now allowed you to see all the colors of the rainbow and missing items in your house. Okay some you didn’t realize were missing till now. Then before you know it, your mind wanders and these poopsicle piles are of varying consistencies which are NOT due to the thawing process either.

Yes folks, there is the diverse poops that now can be coined/labeled into categories such as:

1. The Dirt Bomb Poop: a dry poop that almost blows into the wind as it consists of the dirt from your dog surfing your houseplants and somehow managed to digest more dirt than food. Don’t ask this is one of the wonders of the world not stated in books.
2. The Sandy Grainy Poop: I have NO clue for this type of poop as i do not have sand in my house or in my yard and have given up trying to solve this mystery poop. I’d rather laugh! Oh wait, if you fed your dog rice previously this might be one explanation. Additionally, upon seeing this one might get alarmed your dog has worms or some other parasite. Relax you’d see it in the other poop in your yard.
3. The Paper Snake Poop: One of my favorites! Easy to pick up and relief is felt that it isn’t a tape worm or your panties. This is all the paper napkins your dog ate when you weren’t looking. Buy some stock in bounty if you want to replace the money you spend on napkins and move on if life. Dogs eat many things, paper napkins are a delicacy they truly enjoy.
4. The Brightly Colored Almost Psychedelic Poop: Aha! The missing pieces of a beheaded duck, rubber ball, or other toys you buy for your dog well you just found out how much the like that toy!
5. The Hard Solid Poop with the Soft Center: What this means is you aren’t working fast enough and may end up with poop getting on your gloves. So come on, work a bit faster.
6. The Pudding Poop: This is where I draw the line and let nature take over as decomposition will hopefully happen by or before springtime. Walk away from this one and realize if you dog is healthy now at one time they weren’t. This is not a time for analyzation, rather leave it alone as the south side of your yard is really warming things up.
7. The WHAT THE…POOP: These are always so much fun that you really do have to stop and get a closer look praying it will not smell foul as  you really are too curious to realize you are now getting into poop too deeply. This one is where you see something unrecognizable and usually end up getting a stick to try to identify this alien type of poop. Seriously, this is puzzling you with concerned thoughts till you reach success. Ohhhhhh, there’s the other part of my panties I didn’t find when my dog was eating them the other night. Or I need to talk to my teenage son about closing his door as dirty socks are too delicious for my dogs to refuse as a after dinner snack. Possibly it could be part of the squeaker and ducks foot they dismembered recently. Whatever, you will NOT leave nor stop poking and prodding this type of poop till you figure out exactly what it is! Why? Well for starters you will keep wondering about it and discussing it with family members later who will think you’re nuts. You might even ask them to come outside to take a look and help you identify it. Lastly, you will worry for a bit and also realize you have spent way too much time on one single poop. Like I said earlier, work quickly and you can always save this type of poop for last.
8. THE PERFECT POOP: Does it exist? YES! And once you discover it you are ready to do a happy dance and almost run back inside the house to take a picture of it!
9. The Tootsie Roll Poop: refer back to #8
10. The WHITE POOP ?!?! Yes this considered by some to be one of the most gratifying and near-perfect poops. It has decomposed properly, has no odor and will literally disintegrate within a fairly short period of time. Also refer back to #8.

By now you’ve probably filled at least 2 or 3 bags up and set them aside neatly tied with double knots as well as the east and south side of your yard is much more walk worthy and worry free. No more dodging or weaving…you can walk a straight path now, congrats! Wait, the west side, hmm perhaps which can be done next week? As the north side needs some tidying up. Trudge back over only to realize the sun isn’t shining and those frozen poops can stay put! If you’re a very responsible person you will trudge back over the west side again and pick up a few more poopsicles finally thinking, “Enough of this poop! I’m done for now!” (If you’re like me that is).

I will admit I usually have More than 2 bags filled up but will not admit to exact number of bags. Why should I as it would spoil the fun and then you would know HOW responsible I really am.  If you are smart though, you will have NOT filled up any bags too full so they break open when you place them in the large kitchen bag. Besides once you place all the filled bags of poopsicles into one bag, who’s going to lift it and place it the garbage? Okay, I’ll admit this: I could care less HOW HEAVY the final bag filled with poop is! Why? Because my job is done as I can get my other half or teenage son to pick it up and put it in the garbage can. If the bag is really heavy it also gives me HOPE that other family members will realize the work I do. If they don’t then I have the satisfaction of hearing them complain how heavy the bag was and how they hated throwing it in the garbage can.

I just had a thought: I always pray the bag doesn’t rip open on garbage day with the garbage company banning me from disposing of my dogs poop again! Thus I use hefty reinforced kitchen garbage bags. Oh don’t forget to TIP the garbage man nicely during the holidays as they don’t give you any poop about what is and isn’t allowed as “garbage”.

I don’t know about you but I’ve had enough poop, don’t want to discuss anymore poop, nor am I going to take any poop (to the garbage) —It’s not Sunday, it’s Saturday! Besides my dogs need to go out for a walk now.

Remember: no matter how much poop you receive, there is always two ways of looking at it: with a sense of humor or without. It’s your choice to take poop and laugh it off. Or to walk away from it and let it build up.

Have a poop free day; enjoy life and all your dogs have to give to you!  : )

The contents of this blog site are copyright (c) 2009, Annmarie Sparks. <

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ALL I NEEDED TO KNOW IN LIFE…I’m relearning from my dogs?!?

 
Ok we many have heard of “all I ever needed to know I learned in kindergarten”. As much as I may agree with that statement I am not in 100% agreement. ALL I needed to learn was STARTED as the ground rules of life that began in kindergarten. Marriage and Kids refreshed the same need, but right now I am in the middle of a refresher course from my dogs. YES you read that correctly and no I am not crazy nor have I “gone to the dogs”. Rather I am quite happy I have dogs that teach me as much as I try to teach them. Daily my dogs prove I am not a know-it-all and need to learn more.

1. IF you drop it, pick it up or a DOODLE will steal, swallow or give chase with it. Dogs remind us to practice daily cleanliness habits. Kids and spouse help out in this area as well. Practice what you preach is the rule of thumb especially with dogs. Flip side, while a teenager leaves a wet towel on the floor, a spouse may walk over it, your dog will not let it go unnoticed and alert you to this fact.

2. Do not yell……a dog’s hearing is approx 8 times (or more) more acute than a human’s. YOUR DOG heard you the 1st time, but chose not to listen. Ever have dog run away from you? Since they’re canines we can’t say they’re just human but like humans who listens 100% of the time? Ever see a dog run away from someone angrily calling them to come back? I’d say that is one smart dog and maybe heard the expression “run for the hills”. A dog in some ways has needs like a human: kindness, forgiveness, and much more. I have heard of spouses completely ignoring their “other half’s” every word (some on a daily basis too). Or how about kids who choose to ignore or possibly forget rules and do as they please, yet we expect a dog to be perfect? Heck, how many times did we teach our dog to come when called and sometimes give them tons of praise along with a food treat? A dog will make mistakes and so do humans. Thus, I needed to learn this is a fact of life but yelling doesn’t solve it. Creative thinking, problem solving, communication and guidance skills are necessary for optimal results. Add in a sense of humor as it does help get through a “rough” day.

3. Patience and training are part of an essential daily diet of love. Kids and dogs don’t raise themselves. WE all forget things and need reminders, we all need 2nd chances. If a child needs to be told something 4000 times before it is committed to short term memory, why not give a dog the same chance? I know, a dog remembers to sit, stay, heel, lie down, fetch, but cannot remember to leave your socks alone or not be tempted to eat a pork tenderloin cooling off on your kitchen counter unattended. How many of you have woken up to see the last bit of cheesecake, leftovers and other good edibles gone without admission of the guilty party? Possibly ”guilty till proven innocent” has some merit with dogs? Dogs are not kids, they are animals and animals are food scavengers as well as domesticated animals that need direction via training. No training = no rules and they then will follow instinctual direction.

4. Unconditional love: own a doodle or any dog for that matter, and you will experience it, as words alone cannot describe it fully. Ever try leaving a room for 5 seconds, 5 minutes or leave for 5 hours and see how they greet you each and every time. They aren’t moody, nor hold a grudge, want to demand to know why you are late coming home, or tell you that they don’t like how you’re acting. No, a dog is eager to share his love with you every chance they get regardless of your mood. A dog eagerly awaits to greet you lavishing you with tail wags faster than a propeller, kisses wetter than a kitchen sponge and some even try to rest their head on your lap giving the soulful ” I love YOU” look and patiently wait for your loving touch and voice.

5. We have friends, family, outings, work, etc…your dog only has you for their companionship. So if you dog is acting up, like a little kid, could it be that they may be just trying to get your attention for a little while? One friend of mine has a dog that when she is on the phone will take off all the magnets on her refrigerator bringing each one to her separately, any other time all magnets stay intact. Maybe actions do speak louder than words or a big bark or soft long sigh.

6. Walking a dog for potty time isn’t just that…it can enable you both some time to relax, unwind, stop and smell the roses (if there’s any around but watch out for thorns), get some good old fashioned exercise, fresh air and a chance to bond. I really do not like cold winter arctic weather aka temperatures below 40 degrees F but each and every time I go out with my dogs I appreciate the serenity of fresh fallen snow resting not only on the ground but also on the trees painting a whole new landscape waiting for my dogs and I to enjoy and leave our fun filled footprints. Ok, if you’re wearing ski gear, warm boots, gloves, scarf and a hat and no one is looking then you can do a snow angel reliving your childhood for a few moments while your dogs come bouncing along to give you kisses and/or join you in the fun. So while I dread the coldness of winter, my dogs teach me the beauty, peacefulness and fun one can have if you just let your hair down forgetting reality and appreciate each season. If you view it through a dog’s eyes you think more simplistic letting go of the day’s worries and end up laughing how a dog catches snowflakes, bounces like a bunny, and so much more. They’re almost like being with a toddler that only knows how to live in the moment.

7. Talking to you dog is not silly! A dog reads body language and can size you up faster than you can say “Jack Robinson” and knows by the tone of your voice if you’re happy, upset, angry, or want to play. Dogs can’t talk human language but they need to hear human voices. I know many people who talk to themselves saying it helps them stay organized. So why not talk to a dog that will give you head tilts, quizzical looks and let you ramble on as much as you want without a complaint or an objection.

8. Hugging and kissing a dog…dogs and humans need touch. Some trainers will say dogs do not like to be hugged. I beg to differ. Maybe mine like hugs because I used it as a way of praise and love since they were small puppies. Or maybe they like sensing that love that radiates from a sincere loving hugs. I am not going to analyze a hug; instead I’d suggest just giving it a try sometime.

9. A Sense of Humor…without one, life is miserable. No further explanation needed. And I do believe it has been stated laughter is good medicine for the soul.

10. Will your dog ever make you angry, frustrated, cry, and want to scream and/or wonder why you even got a dog in the first place? Is the pope Catholic? Have you ever experienced the same exact feelings with your children, spouse, siblings and/or parents? Think about it, what in life comes easy and without some effort? AND if it did, would you appreciate and love it as much? OR do we learn by our mistakes, by trial and error and by the teachings of our parents, schooling, and life? If you want an easy “perfect life” do not have kids, dogs, or a spouse. Oh, don’t own a home either as all of require work. Instead please win the lotto jackpot, buy an island in the south pacific and hire people to do all the work leaving you to enjoy another day in paradise.

11. If at first you don’t succeed, try try again or get some help! A dog only lives 10 to 15 years on the average. What a short time to learn as many say a dog is mature by 2 to 3 years old. How long did it take you to learn and mature? And if you have kids, are they fully mature at 18 years old?

If you are unable to train your dog according to your liking there are obedience classes for YOU and YOUR dog to learn together. I know I’ve been to them with both my dogs. Why repeat a class you just did with one dog? Because you can still learn more and as everyone is a unique individual so is you dog. Besides, it gets you out of house, makes you think twice, sometimes the dog is doing things right and you aren’t, so your dog is now confused. Lastly, I can guarantee there will much laughter during 8 weeks of obedience training classes. Lastly, it’s cheaper than a gym membership as you will come home exhausted but with a determination to work harder and learn more [with your dog]. You might even figure out teenagers are harder than training a dog. I know of marriages that after 20 years they say their spouse still is an overgrown kid.

12. I am what is called an adult in “middle age” approaching the hill. How do I know this? There are so many charts, polls and little boxes to check with age groups. I have gray hair that I manage to conceal 90% of the time, wrinkles edging their way slowly on my face and lastly, my birth certificate confirms my exact age. I am supposed to be the teacher of life as I’ve gone through much schooling from kindergarten to college, raised children, married with in-laws, divorced, and thus been through 40+ years of experience of life. And no I am not telling you my real age as it isn’t necessary. So with all I have learned to date?

I have learned something else: dogs will teach you more than you can imagine. I thought I earned my stripes and can honestly play the role of a teacher. Silly me, I complicated things by having 2 doodle dogs. I am a student once again having basic principles of what I need to learn in life being reinforced on top of being both a teacher and student of life once again. For those of you not good at multitasking, don’t’ worry with practice you get better.

13. The little things in life really are big. They sure are! Ever home alone, long day at work, kids are off and about, spouse may be working overtime or out with friends or family? It’s just you and your dog(s), all you hear is the tick tock of a clock while sitting down to relax not wanting anyone or anything to bother you. Then something happens you try to ignore, your dog nudges with their nose and maybe you say, “no not now” or you push their nose lightly away. Something inside you makes you look at your dog only to see a pair of eyes soulfully staring you filled only with sincere love. Your heart melts; you smile and lean down to hug your dog now seeing their tail wagging faster than a helicopter blade. That one quiet moment of taking a mere second that has a memory of lasting a lifetime. So small in some people’s eyes but so big in other’s hearts. The tiniest gesture of caring, taking a moment with a dog that is offering you their attention to help you relax from your day, something money never can buy. What some may call “Zen moment”. Total serenity without a real thought just an awesome feeling.

14. Time flies when you’re having fun. While I may go through stages of my dogs stealing a sock, swallowing a dishtowel, shredding my tax bill, barking at the wind blowing, I also go through stages where I learn that my dog is teaching me life goes by quickly so why not try to enjoy it with love, patience, understanding and we both need more training to learn and grow. My dogs also teach me to use this with my own family as well. One day they’re puppies and before you realize it, they’re full grown almost mature dogs listening much better than previously making you almost wish that puppyhood were still existent. Don’t worry they will when you least expect it and then you wish will for them to behave. This is where you are supposed to laugh realizing no one is infallible which makes life much more interesting and valuable.

Enjoy your day, I have to go as my dogs are waiting for me to take them out and possibly learn a bit more about them and myself.

 

The contents of this blog site are copyright (c) 2008, Annmarie Sparks. All Rights Reserved

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Circus Peanut: a Goldendoodle?

Somewhere, somehow I lost my sanity completely this past year. I thought 18yrs of marriage, 3 kids in 4 years, in-laws, a divorce, and then teenagers would do me in. No, somehow I managed to maintain some sanity and dignity too. I forgot to add I have a fiancé, Dave. Things also got a bit easier as Max and my kids were getting bigger. So what do I do? Well it’s like having an ice cream sundae with the hot fudge, walnuts, whip cream and now let’s put the cherry on top and add a tiny bit more hot fudge on top to complete it. Yes folks, I got another doodle, however this time I got a Goldendoodle. I swore I wasn’t going to get another dog, but I did. So instead of having 1001 reasons why not to get a dog, I ended up getting two. Dave always had golden retrievers growing up and is now in seventh heaven. So am I as our Goldendoodle doesn’t shed at all.My breeder had a litter of puppies at the end of November 2006 and for some reason I really believed I could help her socialize the Goldendoodle puppies and NOT come home with one. I am either softening up or had one of my more disillusioned moments in life for sure. I would like to add that I am also happy I cannot have children anymore as babies are just as contagious.Weekly I help out my breeder, holding and playing with these tiny bundles of joy called Goldendoodles. Then I get to thinking maybe Max does need a playmate. And why wait till Max is a year old and grown up, why not do it now. Have 2 puppies close in age, meaning total chaos like I did with 3 kids but when they mature things tend to get calmer. I mean why would you want to raise a puppy into adulthood and start over again, right? This is where I believe I lost all sanity or what was left of it. My new motto in life is “I lost my mind but I am having too much fun not looking for it”.

Two to three times a week I drive the 4 miles to my breeder’s residence where I had gotten Max. Once again I set forth with what I thought I wanted but with a few changes. I wanted an older puppy this time as Max was much easier to train at 13 weeks old. The reddish puppies were really gorgeous especially with their wavy coats. Another laid back male would be nice as I heard female dogs aren’t called bitches for nothing. And last but not least, the temperament must be sweet, submissive and an easy going like Max.

So for the next 4 weeks I have this chunky monkey, roly poly, red puppy picked out. I ended up calling him Tonka as he was just like a Tonka Truck: nice, sturdy, durable, and could push his way through anything. He was a huge, red, ever so laid back Goldendoodle. Even the breeder agreed that Tonka would be an ideal match for us and Max.

Now there was this cream to golden colored female I nicknamed Peanut when she was only 2 weeks old as she was the runt of the litter. At 3 weeks old, Peanut was a Lewis and Clark expedition gal being the first one of the litter to explore everything around her. Peanut was not afraid of anyone or anything. She walked tall as she could and proud as well.When only 4 weeks old, hoses used to water the horses were to be held back by Peanut, sinking her teeth into it and holding on for dear life. Didn’t the horses realize Peanut was fierce and brave saving them from a water hose death? Peanut turns into ricochet rabbit: Bing, bing, bing— she was off running and bouncing about the barn independently.

Kinetic energy was Peanut’s middle name. I always commented how cute she was but the breeder and I agreed she would be too much for me as I wanted a more laid back puppy and preferably a male again. I did my best not to pick her up, always saying “Peanut honey, you are so cute and I’d love to take you home but you have too much energy for me”.Peanut never took this rejection as a personal insult, instead she always was the nice female puppy making her way to the front to say ‘Hi, pick me, pick me”. Somehow she never fought with her littermates as her stance and sharp bark alone made her littermates back off. But it was also like you could hear her say, “Look, Annmarie is here again and I must say hello to her. Excuse me, excuse me, thank you.” Somehow she always managed to get right up front. The few times she didn’t, Peanut had a way of jumping up in the air without knocking any other littermates over, making sure I noticed her. You could hear her quietly going “Hi, pick me, hello, pick me”. Peanut from day one made sure she was going to be our newest addition. I just didn’t know it at the time.

One day I thought I had the other cream female puppy asleep inside my coat for over a half-hour. The breeder finally said, “You do know who you’re holding don’t you?” I looked down, it was Peanut!! I almost shrieked and put her down so fast! She had gotten me lock, stock and barrel! She had finally succeeded in making me fall head over heels in love with her.

Long story short, Dave and the boys wanted a female puppy. And have heard many times that female gets along better with a male dog. However, I always had male dogs; I didn’t know much about female dogs. Next thing I know Peanut acts like the perfect puppy around all of us now when we all visit weekly. I am a woman so you think I’d know a thing or two by now about females.

Finally I agree to think about Peanut but still had my eye on the roly poly red puppy. Peanut has so much energy yet acts submissive around me and so sweet. Knowing the breeder prefers to keep the puppies with the litter until they’re around 10 weeks old, I figure I have time to think this over. Or was it to rethink the insane decision to add a second puppy into our life? Did I mention we had “pick” of the litter.

Somehow the mild, almost nonexistent, winter here in Western, NY took a turn for the worst. Temperatures were going into the single digits with wind chill factors to be enacted like a cold artic tundra simulation. My breeder called asking us to take our puppy by Saturday. It was Thursday and Peanut was only 9 weeks old! I wasn’t ready for this puppy this soon. Needless to say Saturday morning at 9:30am we showed up to take home Peanut, our kinetic energy puppy. I don’t remember the exact day but it was in early February, a nice sunny but cold and snowy day.

Once home, Peanut was just the opposite of Max. She didn’t stick by my side being a shadow attached with Velcro. No, our little princess Peanut had to explore every nook and cranny. And the cute puppy soon became an energizer bunny that had too many quarters inserted into her back.

Now Max, Peanut’s half brother, a huge, black, 50 lb, overexcited 7 month old Labradoodle puppy was waiting to find a squeaker toy inside her. Even worse, he licked her to death, nibbled her fur, and could put her whole head inside his mouth doing his own version of the circus lion trick. Max became turbocharged with happiness and refused to settle down. Peanut was now rethinking if SHE made a mistake picking us as no one told her about Max. I figured we were even now. She fooled me into thinking she was a sweet little angel and I didn’t warn her that she would not be an only child in our home.

Week one: Peanut finds she can nip and tuck then run under my dining room chair for safety as Max could not fit under it. Max thought of Peanut as a new battery operated toy scooting across the floor. This was going to be fun folks as never a dull moment would be had in my household again. We also found out why female dogs are called bitches. Peanut, is one and does that, when tired. Nap time restores good humor back into Peanut, most of the time. You see, Peanut had to learn Max was bigger and just wanted to play. Her real frustration grew partly out of being tired. The other part was for her to teach Max that SHE was going to be the boss which wasn’t easy to teach to him since he was a ‘whatever” attitude type of male always coming back for more. Nothing Peanut did fazed Max in the least. And at times he would just put his big paw on her and hold her down for a few seconds. You could almost hear the Mutley giggle under his breath while Max kept the ever so innocent look on his face, giving me the infamous male “What?” look.We set up a puppy kennel for peanut. This way she could play yet be watched at all times. I knew we were in trouble on the 3rd day we had her. She somehow managed to escape 3 times one morning with me chastising Max. Seriously, how can a 9 week old puppy move a kennel and get out without some help from another dog, namely Max. The 4th time this happened I turned around just in time to see Peanut climbing up, over and out of a 2.5 ft high kennel like a person climbing a ladder. I didn’t know a 14 pound puppy could climb. I do now. The next day Dave made the kennel 4 ft high and felt quite proud to outsmart a puppy. This lasted maybe a whole hour. Yes, Peanut was caught climbing up and out of the now 4 ft high kennel. Crate training began that same day. But I am NOT going to say with total success.A few days later we were to learn Peanut was part Houdini as I awoke one morning to find her and Max playing in my bedroom. I will admit I wasn’t fully awake and thought how cute they were till I realized they were both loose while I had been sleeping. Dave happened to have called right at that moment, and I proceeded to ask him why in his right mind he’d let a 10 week old puppy be loose with no supervision with Max, a 7 month old puppy. Dave replied, “Honey, she was asleep in her crate when I left for work this morning. In fact, I didn’t walk either dog as they were both asleep.” I immediately got off the phone as shock now set in. I raced them out the door for the morning potty walk come in and set out to find my supplies for accidents.

Step 1: Remember where your glasses are and put them on as I am blind as a bat without them.

Step 2: Get a whole paper towel roll, a bottle of Nature’s Miracle and don’t forget a plastic bag (or two).

Step 3: Take a deep breath to prepare yourself for the worst. Now go back upstairs to the bedroom to hunt and find accidents in need of cleaning.

Step 4: Do NOT trip over the 2 puppies following you playing on and around your feet.

Step 5: Find no accidents anywhere and now get on your hands and knees checking under covers, move anything on the floor and laugh with relief.

Step 6: Realize that nothing was peed nor pooped or chewed on and wonder why. This is the 8th wonder of the world folks as you realize when you watch puppies during the day there are puddles and tootsie roll surprises to be had if you blink long enough. Yet be asleep and somehow 2 puppies manage to be perfect little angels leaving everything untouched, intact and no surprises. I don’t understand this and refuse to look a gift horse in the mouth.

I now begin to realize I may be in over my head and life will never be the same again. The bright side is there will never be a dull moment again in my house! As they say “poop happens” which is another story for another time. For the time being, I have very little sanity left. What I do have instead is a better sense of humor, patience and love to be had in abundance on a daily basis. Do I dare add also two doodles that are quickly becoming partners in crime?

Batman and Robin move over as I have the new dynamic duo: two doodles. And with regards to my sanity, I do believe it is locked away in Pandora’s Box for safe keeping. Hopefully no one in my family has the key as my sense of humor is being developed more deeply on a daily basis. Like I said before, I lost my mind and I am having too much fun NOT looking for it.

Life’s surprises are now intermixed with Max and Peanut’s comical yet loving ways that envelop our hearts.

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