Have a husband that doesn't want a dog? Any tips?

deciding2doodle · Junior Member Joined: 07 Jan 2008 Posts: 41

Thank you all for all of your great feedback. What this tells me is that I am on the right track with not trying to rush my husband into anything but also to eventually let him all the reasons that I want a dog as a part of our lives....You all helped so much...I still think that a doodle would definitely be the right dog for us, even if it is not right now...Thank you Very Happy

KingstonTodd · Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 6:57 pm Post subject:

As a husband that formerly didnt want a dog, its important not to push too hard. we men tend to push back if we feel pushed, even if that isnt rational. what won me over was dog sitting for 2 weeks for our aunts golden retriever. those 14 days of love, licks, fetch, cuddles, etc....we started our dog search immediately afterwards and i have been in love with dogs ever since. good luck.

lindamarie · Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 7:13 pm Post subject:

Now this might sound really STRANGE........but I hardly ever dated a guy that didn't want a dog!! hahaha! In fact. my high school sweetie and almost the guy I married.......we bought an Irish Setter together. When I broke up with him in college...he kept Ginny.....but I had my visitation rights.......hahahaha!

I guess there are some REAL questions to ask your husband. Is he just not a dog lover?....or is it really the responsibility and messiness?
See, I just sold a house last fall to a couple.......she wanted a dog. He was dead set against it. He told me privately that she wouldn't take care of it and he'd be the one left with all the work. He refuses....and I'll bet they never get a dog!!
I hope YOU get a dog!!! You sound like a real dog lover and would be really good with one!!
Lindsie.....I love your story!!! I'd be willing to try that!! hahahha
_________________
Linda & Bogart
Dogs=Unconditional love
"We have it all! Just like Bogie & Bacall!"

mtd885 · Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 12:19 pm Post subject:

I suggest walking your HUSBAND more often!!! Preferably past the dog park Very Happy

perhaps he'll turn to you one day and say 'that looks like fun'. Whatever you do don't let him see any of Gene's dirty doodle posts Laughing

that kind of cleanup is better discovered in private Very Happy

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mtd/renee/abby/dr katz
DOODLE ON!
DOODLES OF AMERICA UNITE!

MaxandMe · Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 12:36 pm Post subject:

I like MTD's style........get the puppy, bring it home and surprise surprise! hahahahaa

when Dave and I brought home Max...my teenagers were in shock when they came home after a short weekend trip. They seriously believed i was puppy sitting for a few weeks as i was NOT getting another dog again!! hahahaa and i always dog sat for everyone my whole life.
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Annmarie, Max,& Peanut
Forum BLOG ARTICLE LINK http://blog.labradoodle-dogs.net/

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." Anatole France

Libby&Jofi · Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 7:43 am Post subject:

As fun as the surprise tactic might be - it could be a relationship breaker!!

My partner's parents are afraid of dogs (his mother was badly bitten by a vicious dog a long while ago) and he seems to have inherited this feeling, so there was a good degree of hesitance on his part when I introduced the idea. He's not a super-animal lover - more of an animal tolerator (although dogs and cats seem to be attracted to him).

Anyway, I love animals and have wanted a dog for a long time and I just worked on him gradually. It's not a good idea or fair to let it become the focus of arguments or pressure him. Just explain why it's so important to you, show him you've thought long and hard about it (why a labradoodle - let him talk to other passionate dog owners - research with him things like dog walking services, kennels while you have vacations - let him know that it shouldn't impact his freedom - that was something my partner was afraid of) - what role he would have in dog ownership - be realistic - i.e. even if you do clean up all those puppy messes and give the dog a bath, it will impact on his life too - a whining puppy at night perhaps (we luckily didn't have this but it's common) - doggy messes make smells - be prepared to clean more Smile

- if you have a super house-proud husband then measures such as a puppy pen can help limit the havoc!! Research it as much as possible. I found this forum really useful to get a good idea of what to expect.

The truth is, once the dog arrives, if you've prepared well enough, it will likely be a pleasure for both of you. My partner has even taken Jofi for walks on occasion (and he just doesn't do 'walks') - and has made me a nice cup of tea after I've cleared up a mess on the floor. I don't mind that he keeps his distance from the yucky jobs - it's lovely to watch him play with Jofi and let her sit on his lap - I get the feeling at times he's a bit jealous that she follows me everywhere. A doodle is a great choice of dog for a first time dog owner. It was voted number 1 (along with Cavaliar King Charles Spaniel) in the UK. Even his parents welcomed Jofi (and us) for a stay over Christmas and got past their fears (it doesn't sound much but this was a 10 week puppy running all over their house!!), and now my partner is even open to a 2nd doodle.

Small steps but hopefully you'll get there in the end.

Libby

2kidsNadog · Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 9:24 pm Post subject:

Ok, I have some similarities to this issue. My husband and I are engineers first off. Secondly our kids were the same ages yours are when we got our doodle. And I'm guessing here based on your husband's comment about the mess, but our house was a mess before the dog - kid toys EVERYWHERE! And no end of threatening or taking toys away made it any better. But - a dog that steals stuff and chews stuff up was a sure-fire cure. Our family room has not a single toy on the floor now!!!
Ok, other then kids and degrees/work, our similarities might end there.

My husband had wanted a dog for a long time since he grew up with one, but he'd resolved himself to the fact that we may never have one due to my dog allergies. Well, I was up with my daughter one morning and turned on Animal Planet (she LOVED watching Animal Planet) and low and behold there was a show on "designer" dogs. Hearing about the traits of the doodle, I just HAD to tell DH when he got up. It was a dog that I might very well could handle living with. A very possible solution to our problem (my dog allergy isn't consistent - I can be fine with one dog and then not with another dog that's the same breed). Of course there was a price issue. DH had hoped we could go to the pound and rescue whatever dog pulled us in, but ditched that dream early on. So the research began.

Maybe do TONS of research (engineers love to analyze) and list out pros and cons and maybe even spreadsheet possible/probable costs and how everything would get paid for. Heck, spreadsheet the tasks that a dog requires and who would be responsible for what. (Every engineer I know LOVES a good spreadsheet.)

My now-8 year old is a HUGE help with our doodle. He stepped right up and definitely sees Cody as 'his dog'. My daughter is now 5 and our almost-11 month old doodle is almost twice her weight, but she still tries to help. She can tether him and let him out. She also plays fetch with him (ok, she throws things for him to retrieve and he has yet to learn to give it back so it can be thrown again).

I'm very happy we found a dog I'm not allergic to. I've found I LOVE owning a dog. Being greeted at the door by the full-body wag every night is the best thing ever.

Good luck in convincing your husband!!! I hope that he comes around!!
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-Marjie

deciding2doodle · Junior Member Joined: 07 Jan 2008 Posts: 41

I just wanted to thank everyone for their fantastic advice...I am happy to report that as of this morning my DH actually said that a dog will be in our future... He mentioned a few years, I am thinking one year...Hurray, patience and respect always pays off. I think it will definitely be a doodle as well.....Thank you again everyone... Very Happy

Sincerely,Carey

lindamarie · Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 11:56 am Post subject:

YAY CAREY!!!! That's GREAT NEWS!! Get a doodle for sure!!!
_________________
Linda & Bogart
Dogs=Unconditional love
"We have it all! Just like Bogie & Bacall!"

Lora · Senior Member Joined: 09 Jul 2007 Posts: 404

What wonderful news!!!!! Laughing

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Lora and Boyd

lmtoth2 · Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 2:43 pm Post subject:

Great news Smile

Once your husband sees potential doodle babies he will not be able to wait too long Smile

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Leslie M

MaxandMe · Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 5:30 pm Post subject:

Carey, 1st of all : CONGRATS!!!!
2nd of all, wait and see who spoils your doodle rotten once you have one home Wink

_________________
Annmarie, Max,& Peanut
Forum BLOG ARTICLE LINK http://blog.labradoodle-dogs.net/

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." Anatole France

tykesmom · Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 3:49 pm Post subject:

Good luck to you Carey!
I just realized how lucky I was to never be in that position - I guess I have always had dogs, and whoever I was dating knew straight off the bat that I was a "love me, love my dog" kind of person. (I once broke up with a guy because he was just pretending to like dogs - my first Eskie saw through him and literally "treed" him one day! Frosty was a great judge of character!) My ex-husband (who is an engineer as well) was, and still is, a big dog lover. We have managed to remain friends, and he was one of the first people I called to come over and see Tyke on her first day home!
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Kim and Tyke

"You say dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you they will be there long before any of us." - Robert Louis Stevenson

L's Mom · Senior Member Joined: 15 Feb 2008 Posts: 1092 Location: GA

Congrats!!!!

I think you will find the whole process will go much faster now that he has taken the first step... acknowledging that there is a doodle to come... I am so happy for you!!! You guys are going to LOVE having a doodle!!!
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Jenny, Sam, Lucas, & Della

gracielou · Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 12:31 pm Post subject:

Boy I'm glad I've never had that problem Tom is as much as a dog lover as I am.
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Linda & Gracielou
Valley Center, KS
http://www.4pawspuppies.com