[blueteal]

What I must remember - by the dog!

1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff!

2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I am lying under the coffee table.

3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge or sofa or under the bed.

4. I must shake the rainwater off of my coat before entering the house.

5. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to get sick.

7. I will not throw up in the car.

8. I will not roll on dead or decaying mammals, fish or fowl just because I like the way they smell.

9. "Litter Box Crunchies," although they are tasty, are not food.

10. I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.

11.The diaper/nappy pail is not a cookie jar.

12. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell him.

13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my owners will think I am haemorrhaging.

14. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it is raining outside.

15. Even though we have a doorbell, I will not bark each time I hear one.......on TV.

16. I will not steal my mum's underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.

17. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mum and Dad's laps.

18. My head does not belong in the refridgerator.

19. I will not bite the Poilceman/Trooper's hand when he reaches in for Dad's license and car registration.

20. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he is on the toilet.

21. To avoid having a string hanging out of my bottom (butt), I will not eat dental floss out of the bathroom garbage.

22. I will "roll around in the dirt" after getting a bath.

23. I will not fart, belch or sneeze at my owner while sleeping in their bed.

24. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.

25. The toilet bowl is not a never-ending water supply and, just because the water is blue, it does not mean it is cleaner!

26. The cat is not a squeaky toy.......So when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
_________________
Sue & Denver
http://blueteal.net/denver.htm
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
- Josh Billings

[gene]

Sue, you forgot #26....

You know I'm teasing and will not do any of the above!
_________________
gene , jonah , miko and rumor

http://s125.photobucket.com/albums/p46/jonahfus
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down." - Robert Benchley

[eetubbs]

You forget:

27. Rules are for humans, not so much doodles.

LizziesMom

[Raleighsmom]

Great and funny set of rules Sue! I think you covered just about everything!!! ha-ha....

[blueteal]

They are funny but I can not take credit as I found them on the net and just thought we could all relate.
_________________
Sue & Denver
http://blueteal.net/denver.htm
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
- Josh Billings