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Dilemma with Charlie
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wfin73
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Joined: 02 Aug 2007
Posts: 134
Location: South East Massachusetts

PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 3:12 pm    Post subject: Dilemma with Charlie Reply with quote

It is with great regret that I am writing this post. Crying or Very sad Even though our Charlie is a great dog, he is beginning to be a bit too much for our family. For starters, our daughters allergies & asthma, which we thought she outgrew, has begun to act up again. Also, my mother-in-law has just moved in with us, and unfortunatly, she is not much of a dog person. We thought our kids were ready for a dog too, but Charlie has tendencies to steal things, especially their stuffed animals, and they have not learned to put their stuff away, so he has ruined countless things of theirs. We love him dearly, but he has just become too much for our family. It's frustrating to me becasue he behaves so well when I am home with him, but he doesn't for my wife. He has a higher chance of getting into things when he is home alone with her and the kids.

I hate to give him to someone we don't know, so if anyone here is interested let me know. We are in southeast Massachusetts.
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annabelles mom
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 3:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm so sorry to hear you are having to find a home for Charlie - have you contacted Sharon to see if she knows anyone?
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mtd885
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Joined: 14 Dec 2007
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Location: FLORIDA/San Francisco Ca

PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 3:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Divorce the wife put the kids up for adoption and send the mother in law packing. You and Charlie will live happily ever after Shocked OR Have a family meeting so that you can evaluate the situation with more accuracy. THEN if you can't find a solution, Rehome. I say this because it's a hard spot you are in. As a kid in the 50's I NEVER FORGOT my dad 'taking our dog for a ride', it broke my heart. As a dad in the 70's I got custody of THE DOG at the divorce. As a son in law in 2008, my wife's mom whom I love as my own lives--three floors above us in the same Condo Wink
BTW My wife has agreed to take Abby to OB classes because I have a problem with her innocently 'untraining' her. Perhaps if you can involve the family in training Charlie it can be turned into a positive!... Good Luck!
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Jac
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Location: Northern CA

PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 6:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree that this decision should be made giving weight to all of the factors and all of the players...and looking at what is right for Charlie. He sounds like a great dog.
But if the decision has been made and there is no room for negotiation, then you might want to contact IDOG rescue. They have waiting lists for doodles and have foster families to help out in the interim if necessary. They operate nationally.
http://www.idog.biz/IDOGRRR.html
(By the way, IDOG is Shannon...and Jo.)
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Last edited by Jac on Thu Feb 28, 2008 8:01 pm; edited 1 time in total
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MaxandMe
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 6:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hahhaaa MTD!!!

seriously can you have a family discussion as to how everyone could work as a team?
if not contacting Shannon is great as she operates a rescue of doodles in almost all of the US now.
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blueteal
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 6:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That is a very sad situation.......... Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad
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lindamarie
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 8:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This IS very sad.
Is the allergy from Charlie for sure? If so, that might be tough. But, I can't help agree that if everyone loves Charlie, there has to be a way to work this out????
How old is Charlie?....How old are the kids?
Would obedience school help? At Bogie's class, we have families come in and work with their dogs........parents to little kids. I hope there's a way.
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sdrudge
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 10:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is a hard. But I agree with everyone here. Just have a family meeting and talk it all out. This will be hard for everyone, the kids the most. We had a little Pom and she was a rescue dog we got. She was so messed up. So my husband had to take her back to the rescue we got her from. Our youngest took it so hard. And sometimes even now he will ask if he can see Sophie. Sophie would bite and growl at my kids. And she wouldn't walk on hard floor. She was so scared. We got her to calm down but she still would bite and not walk on hard floors. I think she needed a older person who didn't have kids.

But now our boys love Cacao. Cacao will play with the boys and take their socks. (another story)

Just make sure you find a good home for Charlie. I wish you lived near me and I had a bigger house I would offer. He looks so sweet.
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MaxandMe
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 1:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

is there any way you'd contact Shannon(Phantom-Star) who runs a rescue for doodles if you have to give up Charlie?

if you put her name just as it is above in the search box and click find all terms.....her name will pop up
if not pm me and i'll give you her email
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wfin73
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 7:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

We've had numerous meetings about how to live with the dog, and the kids have gotten better, but things are still kind of tough. We will keep Charlie as long as we have to to find a good home, we aren't just going to give him to anybody. I think we will look around to find a good obedience class too to see if that helps. He is only a year and a half old, so I know he still has a lot of puppy in him, so maybe with age he'll learn not to steal and things my kids leave around. I think part of it is our fault too, when my wife comes home with the kids in the afternoon, he's been in his cage all day and is full of energy, but with four kids it's hard to always give him the attention he wants right then.

As far as Molly's allergies go, when she was a baby our doctor told us pets were bad for her, that's why we got a labradoodle. For the most part he hasn't bothered her, but lately we've seen signs of her allergies coming back.

Has any one had experience with obediance classes at some place like Petco? For us it would be the most conveniant, but I don't know how good the classes are.
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lmtoth2
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 7:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Has any one had experience with obediance classes at some place like Petco? For us it would be the most conveniant, but I don't know how good the classes are.


we took 2 obedience classes with Dexter at Petsmart. We liked one trainer a lot (would def take another class with her) but not the other one as much. I would go to the store and meet the trainer and see what yu think. I think the quality varies from store to store.
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cracker9ball
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Location: Tulsa,OK

PostPosted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 8:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Soory to hear the bad news. Hopefully a OB class will help, and the family will try little harder. With dogs you get what you give. Best of luck.
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ellabee
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 8:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stealing stuff....we realized very quickly with Dexter that the house has to be puppy-proofed just as one would baby-proof a house. The same kind of thought and commitment level has to be there....i.e. you wouldn't leave an open bottle of Drano on the coffee table with a baby, you have to take leaving a child's toy or a slipper JUST AS SERIOUSLY.

It's just what you have to do. It gets a little easier once you are completely immersed in that mind-set.

Good luck to all of you.
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mtd885
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 8:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think part of it is our fault too, when my wife comes home with the kids in the afternoon, he's been in his cage all day and is full of energy, but with four kids it's hard to always give him the attention he wants right then.

Do the children walk Charlie? I would suggest they do. Most trainers NOW realize that exercise (walking on lead) is very important to the dogs Psych.

As far as Molly's allergies go, when she was a baby our doctor told us pets were bad for her, that's why we got a labradoodle. For the most part he hasn't bothered her, but lately we've seen signs of her allergies coming back.

Sometimes it's stress that brings on those symptoms. My son had allergies and asthma attacks which his mom blamed on the Goldens. Later on I discovered it was the stress at home that brought on the respiratory symptoms. Now he is 28 and asthma and allergy free!

Has any one had experience with obediance classes at some place like Petco? For us it would be the most conveniant, but I don't know how good the classes are.[/quote]

Now you're talking!! My wife never had a trained dog (she's had 3 or 4 dogs) every night she gushes over how wonderful Abby behaves in public and the compliments people give her on her behavior (the dog not the wife Laughing ) Next week the two of them go to the Humane society to start basic OB classes. I would recommend the (book) DVD The Dog Whisperer by Paul Owen. I have both. Even the younger kids will enjoy watching Charlie learn his lessons from this video. It's all positive training with no scolding or manhandling of the dog. Best of Luck! If you need any more guidance Laughing Please do not hesitate to PM or ask on forum
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lindamarie
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Joined: 23 Nov 2007
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 8:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree..........go to Petco and talk to a trainer. Give that a shot!
The video's sound great too if you can get the kids involved. Make it a group FUN effort.
I honestly belive you'll have a GREAT dog that will fit right in and make eevryone happy for years to come. This doesn't happen overnight. But, doodles are so, so SMART! I can't believe how much Bogie can learn in just 2-3 times when things are repetaed.
I wish you luck!
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