VENT and a small giggle.......aaaaaaaargh...haha

[lindamarie]

I think some of you may recall my sweet neighbor..........who I really, really like who owns Finn, one of Bogart's BESTEST buds!
Remember how I had offered to help let the puppy out since Finn stays locked in the kitchen for like 9 hours a day?

Well.........Amy apparently was told by her trainer to not get us involved in seeing Finn too much, as his training would be confusing.
Okay, I'll buy that!
Yet, Bogart and Finn play almost everyday, so he's in our yard w/o Amy and HEY!...We need to have him mind too, ya know?

NOW.........Finn as adorable as he is, is a 7 month old 70LB.........HUGE and untrained GD.

Every single trainer she has had has done SQUAT with this poor dog. Amy is so afraid of "hurting Finn's feelings", that this is no a catastrophe.
For weeks now, Finn has been jumping the fence into our next door neighbor's yard. This has caused huge swearing fights between Amy and my next door neighbor. I mean VISCIOUS! Not so much Amy at all........but the woman neighbor has lost it!
I sat here this moring and saw Finn jump the fence. Now it was really early and I didn't feel like doing what my husband and I do....especially walkswithpoop....almost every day now. We are trying to keep the peace. So, usually mr. poopy grabs Finn and brings him in our yard.
Well, today........poop was sleeping. Finn had jumped the fence twice and the neighbor guy was in the yard looking like he was afraid his wife might see this...... I woke hubpoop up and got him working on this.

Before he came outside.........I could see Amy behing the next door neighbors garage FIGHTING with FINN!
What was funny is all I could reeally see as her pony tail flopping around and a ball of fur fighting her!
She couldn't pick Finn up the 2nd time.......too heavy! She was a muddy mess and Finn ripped her shirt!

K......can you see where I'm going with this?
This gorgeous GR is out of control! So, when we finally got him in our yard, he calmed down.
Then, he and Bogart started playing.
Something new has gotten WORSE today! Finn is now really biting at Bogart's face!!
We are now frightened that Finn could hurt Bogart AND...he nips at us if we try to correct him!

SO, Hubpoo carried Finn back over the fence to Amy and told her what happened.

OMYGOSH! How will AMy control him when he's maybe 120LBS??
Her training has been a disaster and is inconsistent! She poo-poo's any suggestions we have given her and trains with all these morons that teach things like HIGH FIVE!! HELLLLOO!!
SO, I don't think I want Finn here anymore. If he hurts my Bogart.....well........I don't even want to say.

Thanks for listening.

[Raleighsmom]

Groan......,what next????? Is Amy on a different planet??? The fact that Finn plays with Bogie daily, and the fact that you no longer want Finn playing with Bogie, because he's getting too rough...do you think that might make a light bulb click on in her head??? I wouldn't want Finn in my yard either...you don't want the chance of Bogie getting hurt..how or did you tell Amy? This should be interesting how this plays out...I'll bet you $5.00 right now, she eventually gets rid of him when he becomes totally out of control..sad for him, but which would probably be a good thing for him...hopefully he'd go to a family that would have him properly trained!

[lindamarie]

I never thought of that! What if she gives up on him?
That would be awful and ALL her fault!
She has the 4th trainer now. He came last week, but this afternoon, she left on vacation......yes, and took Finn. She may be gone 2 weeks. SO! That means no training AGAIN........and the next time we see Finn, I expect him to be even BIGGER!
No, Kathie, I haven't told her yet. It's going to be very hard. I'm glad she left this afternoon. I can't deal with this right now.
But, I do know that if it were her...she would have NO problem telling us!........as nice as she is! She's very protective of Finn, but sloppy on training.

[sheamusmom]

How sad for Finn, and also for you as Bogie needs to lose his playmate because Finn's human refuses to provide him the consistent structure he needs. I agree with Kathy, and unfortunately I suspect Finn will be looking for a home because he has never been taught manners.
The longer his owner keeps him under these conditions, the more difficult it will be to try to "fix" his negative learned behaviors, and the more difficult it will be to try to rehome him.

[MaxandMe]

ohhhhhhhh Linda............stick to your guns, and till this neighbor gets FINN trained i'd stay away as it's going to cause you
much stress as it seems it has begun to already.

it's a shame that FINN isn't trained.......i myself stopped playmates for max and peanut cause a few of the dogs were so wild
and well it's like having someone else's kids over that don't know the rules or haven't had any.

I sure hope AMY will end up realizing she has a super big happy dog on her hands that later on will cause her much grief
IF she doesn't start to train him. What a shame as golden retrievers are great dogs but if left untrained OHhhhhhhhh boy!!
I don't know what it till take for AMY to realize the trainers were trying to help her and FINN

i feel bad for FINN cause he doesn't have a clue........Dogs look to us for training and direction and love.

[lindamarie]

I REALLY like Amy and Finn. I feel so BAD! Amy is a riot and such a nice person! She has come over and partied with us and everything. This is just too sad.
I just know she is going to be really hurt by this, but she'll never show it.
I thought she was leaving on vacation today, but I just drove by her house on the way home from an emergency type appt I had at the doctor....that's another story.
I don't know......I know she is really frustrated with Fin, maybe if we say we can't do this she'll snap to it??

I know I'm babbling on, but I need to. See, Amy doesn't like our methods we used to train Bogart. His "shock collar" is a big nothing! In fact, does everyone realize it's the same principle as the collar for Invisible Fencing? Good Lord! I stuck it on my arm and turned it way up. Sure! It scares you because you don't expect it, but it doesn't really hurt! NOPE! She won't do that.
So, then we told her about the German Prong Collar.........I know we talked about this before and I find absolutely nothing wrong with it. NOPE! She won't use that.
I gave her Bogart's Gentle Leader! I think she used it once!
She tried clicker training.......NOPE Didn't work. I think she was very inconsistent.
We told her how to stand over the dog and give the AHHHHH growl..NOPE! She didn't like using noises. TODAY! She was! But she did it so many times that Finn was confused and just kept rollling on the ground with her grabbing his collar and him biting at her. It made me CRAZY! I was glad I could at least laugh at her pony tail flapping around and Finn's fur flying. She has a great sense of humor so I told her that right now......we needed to laugh!.....and we did!
Bottom line..........I think it's a lost cause. If Finn were mine, he would have the shock collar on him tomorrow and the prong collar. It's all for his own good. Nothing else is working and I just hope this beautiful GR is not ruined!

[MaxandMe]

LINDA...........how close are you to AMY?
i am asking this as maybe if you're good friends you can talk with AMY but NOT ask her to do YOUR METHODS RATHER
say that as friends you see her frustrated with FINN which happens to so many people with EXHUBERANT puppies (wink wink)

and while they go through stages testing our patience and sense of humor that TRAINING at an OB class possibly??? could
help her see OTHERS go through the same thing but with time and keeping up with the training no matter how silly or strange
or Different is may seem, that in the end IT HELPS
that puppies are like KIDS they need direction and help doing the same thing over and over to learn.
they say you have to tell a kid something 4000 times before they commit it to SHORT TERM memory
and well some puppies can need 8000 times of doing something to learn

i do know some golden retriever puppies take a LONG time to mature over others...we have many friends with them
Dave also grew up with them.

anyway, try approaching her as a friend for her to LEAN ON so she isn't frustrated or defensive but INSTEAD may open up
AMY may be scared or possibly maybe she sees BOGIE and is intimidated by his training if she compares herself and finn to both of you.

if she's a real friend she'll deep down knwo you're trying to reach out and help
she might even get mad at first............it's the chance you take with friendship but at same time
down the line good things might happen from it?

Linda ....possibly AMY needs to realize she's not alone and at same time if FINN doesn't get some training it will get worse as he
gets bigger. and TRAINING is a great way to BOND with your dog as well.

[lindamarie]

Thanks annmarie......Amy and I have become closer since March. We share and laugh all the time now. Walt has been, IMO, doing too much "over the fence" counselling. I think, at times, he has irritated her with too much advice. It all is meant well, but Amy is quite stubborn and although she listens, she blows things off easily.
She is an engineer, and I am in no way knocking engineers, but they have a different way of seeing things. Their minds function in a different way, if you have ever known one. I have sold houses to many engineers and see it all the time.
Walt has asked me several times to come over to the fence and reinforce his beliefs. I have refused to do that I know it's fruitless. I think she appreciates my staying out of it.

AMy has come over for coffee in the morning or a glass of wine in the evening while the dogs play. She and I really get along well.
I have thought of just how to deal with this. Yes, I have considered approaching this as a friend. Now, it seems I will have to.

BTW.........she did have Finn in an OB class. He was getting close to graduation when she had him neutered, so they never finished the class. It was in that class that the biggest thing Finn learned was the HIGH FIVE! Then she had several private lessons at her house..........one even being last week.

I truly want to reach out to her and have a good talk over this. If she does actually get angry, I'll never know it while she's sitting there. I'll know by the way she acts once she's gone home. She, herself, may come to the conclusion that the dogs can't play.
What a mess! I truly feel for her.