Have a husband that doesn't want a dog? Any tips?

[deciding2doodle]

Hello,
I am just a person that has always been dog crazy and now that our kids are a bit older I have been aching to get one for the family. The challenge is that my dear sweet husband isn't conviced that we should have one. His concerns, the mess and the responsiblity. I wondered if anyone has experienced this and come out on the other side with a doodle....I would never go over my husbands head and just get a dog, but I would love him to want one for the family as well. Am I in losing battle? Just looking for helpfull feedback,guidance. Thanks !

[Lora]

I lobbied hard for a dog for 10 years before DH finally agreed. The trick is not to get emotional about it. I can't tell you how many fights we had over the dog when I presented it in an emotional way.

What I finally did was write down the key points of what dog ownership really meant to me and the importance I placed on it. When I reviewed my points in a calm manner with DH he said "Wow, I didn't realize how much you wanted a dog and how much thought you've put into this!"

From there it was "It's YOUR dog" and now Boyd, aka - woogs, snoogie, fluffer nutter, love nugget, etc. is loved by all!

[deciding2doodle]

That sounds exactly like our story.....Do happen to still have that list of the reasons why to have a dog? You see my husband is a logical engineer and I have tried before to speak to him about it and I get "the wall".....At least I have enough sense to back off at this point, but I need a new approach.....any advice is very helpful. Thank you so much

[Linz81]

I actually have a very funny story about this.
My husband and I had been married around 2 or 3 weeks, it was New Year's eve and we had just moved into our first home together! Immediately I wanted a puppy! I wanted a Great Dane (this was before I knew about the labradoodle of course) Well my husband wanted either a German Shepherd or a Doberman. We could not agree so HE decided NO DOGS in the new house! After asking, pleading, begging always to "No! NO DOGS!"
Well, back to New Year's Eve...I had just gotten off work and was walking into the grocery store where low and behold there was a big sign on the bulletin board "FREE PUPPIES" half Great Dane half Doberman!! Perfect!!!!
I called the lady on the spot and she met me with the most pitiful looking puppy you had aver seen. I knew I had 20 minutes before I arrived at home with this poor little thing to think of a story to convince my hubby to let us keep it. So I told him I found it on the side of the road and I was afraid it would have been hit by a car! Well after 4 hours and almost $1000 later we were leaving the ER vet's office with our new baby! He was ate up with worms, cocci and all sort of other stuff. But by midnight we were both smitten with "Jett." Of course after a couple of weeks when I could see DH was madly in love, I told him the truth. Jett was a very faithful companion to my husband and I for almost 8 years. And we still laugh about how I brought him home!

Hope I didn't ramble too long, just wanted to share!

[deciding2doodle]

I love that story.....I wish my husband had a dog that he was set on.....It isn't even forcused on a dog he would want...In fact after doing the research about the doodle breed ( especially because of the low/no shed factor) he even argued with me that " They can't guarantee that they won't shed....".....on boy, do I have my work cut out for me?

Do you know why he doesn't want a dog? Maybe getting an older dog....one that has basic training and the owners know the coat so they can tell you if the dog sheds. A lot of breeders will rehome thier dogs after they retire from breeding. Also Annmarie has a great setter/poodle mix that is a year old. I am sorry to hear that he won't consider a dog. I have no idea how to help as I am single so I make all the decisions (Well now that I have Maya I make 50% of the decisions...hahahaha)

[Linz81]

I totally agree! The dog that annmarie has is BEAUTIFUL! And hasn't it been through training even trained to a bell?

[annieG]

Are you saying he doesn't want a dog or he doesn't want a doodle? I am not sure I would bring a dog in to a situation where one spouse doesn't want any dog. Sometimes that can backfire and the person is more resentful than ever...same as getting pregnant when the other person doesn't want kids.

My husband had always favored smaller dogs. It was my turn to choose and I picked a doodle. He is absolutely bonkers over Tanner..wouldn't trade him for anything.

[MaxandMe]

HI deciding2doodle!!! maybe you will let your hubby read my blog articles?
OR if not, this upcoming weekend i am posting another one and it's somewhat on what we're talking about...
and

I was like YOUR DH....i had 1001 reasons why NOT to get a dog!!!
and well i held firm for 5 years

Max the older black crooked stumpy tailed labby looking Labradoodle
somehow managed to wiggle into my heart on Oct7, 2006...here it is feb 2008 and now i have 3 doodles
I stuck to my word!! i didnt' get A DOG.......i got 3 hahahhahaa
and HAVE NO Regrets!

the blog articles i write...the link is below my name
august 2007 articles "max wins by a tail" shows i was once just like your hubby hahahahaa
and recent articles show how these doodles awakened a part of me that was asleep


PS Henry right now isn't available and they're keeping in touch with me.

[archiedoodle]

My husband did not want a dog, although he is a real animal lover. Now he and Archie are very best friends. I always have to remind Archie that I was the one who wanted him, I found him, and I talked his dad into adopting him!!


What worked for me was to do all the research, I even chose a breeder and picked out Archie on line. Then I showed my husband photos and all the details. He finally agreed, and next thing I knew we were on our way to pick up our puppy.

More than two years later, everything has worked out great!

[blueteal]

My husband did not want a dog at all, but he knew
how much I did so he came on board for that reason alone,
and has been absolutely wonderful and has bonded with Denver.

I would not bring a dog into the house if i felt that my spouse would not
be able to come on board and as I have been married to my sweetheart
for long time I know him well and knew this would not be a problem.

[deciding2doodle]

My husband mentions that he doesn't want a dog. He feels that a dog will add stress and mess and another responsibility. This is a perspective I understand, but still feel I would like that responsiblity, afterall what is one more bit of mess when you have 2 kids 4 and 7 and you have survived a teenage exchange from Europe who lived with us for 1 year and is now our German daughter...What can I say, I am an animal lover.....I just want to nudge him gently, not bowl him over with my demand for a dog....He isn't against doodles, in fact he would probably prefer a dog that doesn't shed, or lightly sheds......Thanks everyone

[dgeggis]

I would be very careful in pushing the dog issue. Your children are not that much older - you said they are ages 4 and 7.

If Hubby is concerned about the added responsibility could he be referring to the financial obligation that another household member will bring?
Caring for a dog carries with it a considerable financial obligation, especially if something goes wrong.

You might want to find out about his concerns about the "mess" factor also. If he feels that the house is already a mess, adding a dog may not be comfortable for him.

On the flip side, having a dog may encourage your children to put their things away, lest they become dog toys

Having a dog can reduce stress. Taking the dog for walks and having a friend to talk to has enormous benefits.

If you know someone who needs a dog sitter for a couple of days or a week that might be an opportunity to get the feel of having a dog, but I would be careful as that could backfire too.

Finally, I would highly recommend that you consider an older puppy or mature dog. A rehome situation would probably be ideal as the disorder of puppy life would be avoided and you would know for sure whether the dog sheds or not. You can always get a puppy later

[netsirk]

When we got Kryczek, it is actually the first time my kids have really stepped up and showed responsibility and they are 10 and 7. All the time we would ask them to do stuff, get ignored, punishments would be doled out...now, if we ask them to do something in regards to Kryczek, there is no squabbling with us and they enjoy doing it. I have since noticed that they will do other things when asked sooner than before. The other thing about getting a dog when the question is messes, responsibility, finances, etc...we probably all did the similar thing when we had kids and it balances out in the end. You can ALWAYS come up with a reason to NOT do something, when in reality, doing it most often works out and you can't believe you thought that in the first place. When our dog died in November, we really didn't think we would get another one for a long time for the exact reasons. We could finally get new carpet, we wouldn't have to worry about dog sitters if we did an overnight somewhere, we could go as we please when we please...well, so far I wouldn't change a thing about getting another dog so soon. His housetraining has gone great so far...if anything I won't get carpet until my daughter is out of the house because she is a spill queen! Nothing to do with the dog. We take him with us if we have somewhere to go, or we stay home. We were going out too much in the first place. And our wonderful dog sitter who we had before is heartbroken to have lost her buddy, so she is excited about watching a new buddy now. Just tell your DH that all things work out in the end if he just embraces it positively.

[River Rat]

I think that presenting your husband with a list of why you want a dog is a good approach. I always stressed that I felt we needed a dog for company and protection, because we live in a rural area, and that made sense to my husband. Also he knew that I really wanted another dog and he feels that marriage is a fifty-fifty proposition and he had no right to refuse.

He loves dogs but has a very hard time saying goodbye to them when the inevitable happens. That's one reason I chose a labradoodle instead of a Great Dane; none of our Danes lived past 8 and I wanted at least the chance of more time with our new puppy. But dogs do tie you down and limit what you can do, and they can create messes. DH now adores Chouette, but it took awhile because he wanted to maintain a distance at first. Smart little thing always made a big fuss over him when he came home, though, and in general won him over. However, he did say yes first, even though he wasn't happy about it. And I'm glad he did, because there have been some mildly trying times when it was good that I could say, "But you agreed!"

Leslie